


worry about what a child will become tomorrow

by What_They_Call_Me



Series: What if Morgana was good (Where I just write things with Merlin and Morgana being happy sorcerer friends) [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Dad!Merlin, De-Aged Morgana, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, M/M, Magic Gone Wrong, Protective Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:41:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,539
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24168274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/What_They_Call_Me/pseuds/What_They_Call_Me
Summary: "When Merlin put his arms down, Morgana was not standing before him, Merlin’s heart stuttered. Had Morgana’s magic just killed her?He stepped forward, almost unconsciously, and then Merlin noticed the a small bundle at his feet. Before him was a little girl, she barley looked older than four years old. Morgana’s blue gown pooled around the little girl’s body. She stared up at him, with wide icy grey eyes. She blinked up at Merlin owlishly.“Morgana?” Merlin asked carefully.“How do you know my name?” this small Morgana asked."or, Morgana accidentally de-ages herself and Merlin takes care of her, with the help of Arthur.
Relationships: Merlin & Morgana (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Morgana & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: What if Morgana was good (Where I just write things with Merlin and Morgana being happy sorcerer friends) [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1716769
Comments: 21
Kudos: 411





	worry about what a child will become tomorrow

Merlin and Morgana were fighting, their magic clashing heavily within the forest. The darkness of the predawn interrupted by spells of fire and light. 

“Give up Morgana!” Merlin shouted, throwing a large fireball at her.

Morgana laughed cooly, her smile stretching evilly across her face. Merlin wondered how the sweet innocent Morgana had turned into this monster he barley recognized. 

“Camelot’s throne is mine. I am the rightful heir.” Morgana snarled. She stepped back bracing for a spell. She slipped into the ancient language of the old religion, her words twisting darkly off her tongue.

Light enveloped Morgana, a fine golden sheen surrounding in a glow that seemed heavenly. It was ironic, Merlin thought, that Morgana looked like an angel in this moment, her hair blowing in a breeze that wasn’t there, her skin sparkling like diamonds. If he didn’t know her demonic soul, he would have mistaken her for a heavenly body.

The light was growing stronger, pulsing it’s golden rays towards Merlin and he braced himself for the attack. Then there was a blinding flash of light, so bright that Merlin had to raise his arms to block the light. 

When Merlin put his arms down, Morgana was not standing before him, Merlin’s heart stuttered. Had Morgana’s magic just killed her?

He stepped forward, almost unconsciously, and then Merlin noticed the a small bundle at his feet. Before him was a little girl, she barley looked older than four years old. Morgana’s blue gown pooled around the little girl’s body. She stared up at him, with wide icy grey eyes. She blinked up at Merlin owlishly.

“Morgana?” Merlin asked carefully.

“How do you know my name?” this small Morgana asked. 

Merlin knew that he could end it all here. He could destroy the greatest enemy to Camelot right this moment. 

But Merlin looked at the little girl in front of her, her eyes were warm and innocent. She wasn’t the monster that her future self had become. Merlin couldn’t kill a child, he couldn’t kill Mordred years ago, and he couldn’t hurt this childish Morgana now.

“We need to get you to Gaius.” Merlin muttered, picking up this small Morgana from under the armpits. He picked her up and raced to the court physician. Gaius would know what to do, Gaius would be able to fix this.

Gaius, thank the gods, was in his chambers, making a polyjuice of some kind. Merlin was still holding the small Morgana tightly.

“Merlin, I’m glad you’re back.” Gaius was looking at the young Morgana in his arms, “Who is this young girl? Is she injured?”

“Gaius, it’s Morgana.” Merlin breathed out. He waited for a reaction, for Gaius to be as shocked at he was. Or for Gaius to scold Merlin for using magic out in the woods. Maybe even for Gaius to break out in a happy waltz. He was expecting some kind of reaction, but definitely not for Gaius to walk over to Merlin and Morgana with a kind smile.

“It’s nice to meet you Morgana.” Gaius laughed.

Maybe Gaius thought that this was a different Morgana, maybe he wasn’t understanding what Merlin was saying. 

“Gaius, I’m telling you, this is really Morgana!” Merlin tried again.

“I’m Morgana.” The girl in his hands added helpfully.

“Well Morgana, why are you in here today. Do you feel unwell?” Gaius asked, the pinnacle of doctorly tact. Merlin’s eyes widened.

“Gaius, you know Morgana… right?” Merlin asked, putting Morgana down finally, sitting her on a one of the benches. Morgana wiggled about but mostly stayed silent, just watching the Gaius and Merlin talk.

“I’ve never met her before.” Gaius shook his head.

And if Merlin hadn’t been screwed before, well now he was in deep deep trouble. He looked from the child that ruined his life to his mentor, hoping that suddenly everything would go back to normal. Because at least if it was normal, with Morgana trying to kill him, Merlin would know what to expect.

Morgana shifted, her too large dress sliding over her shoulder.

“I’m going to get her something to wear, and then I am going to need your help.” Merlin finally muttered. 

He went to his room and pulled out one of his nightshirts, he quickly stuffed Morgana into it. This shirt went down to her feet, but stayed on her shoulders this time. 

“This is going to sound insane Gaius, but…” Merlin began the story, as Morgana absentmindedly played with the cloth of her new dress. 

***

Arthur was not at all happy, he had a paper work to do, no breakfast to satisfy his hunger before working on it, and his servant was nowhere in sight. Arthur stormed down to the court physician's room angrily slamming the door open. He was surprised to see three faces peer up at him, Merlin, Gaius, and a little girl.

Quickly Merlin swept up the little girl, holding her tightly, as if expecting a fight.

Arthur’s heart clenched, Merlin looked so protective, so fatherly in that moment. And Arthur hadn’t even known that there was a woman in Merlin’s life, let alone a daughter. Arthur took a moment to look between Merlin and the little girl.

The little girl was twisting around, trying to see who had come in, so Arthur couldn’t see her face, but the quick glimpse he had seen was enough proof for him. The little girl had the same raven hair, and the same pale complexion as Merlin. They were no doubt father and daughter.

“Arthur!” Merlin said with some relief, loosening his hold on the little girl, but not putting her down.

“Merlin, I didn’t know you had a daughter.” Arthur said, he realized he sounded a dumb in his own ears, except he was a prince and most definetly not dumb. He was just staring at the girl, who wiggled around in Merlin’s grip.

“Daughter?” Merlin whispered confused.

“Yes sire, it was a shock to us too.” Gaius finally said looking at the girl in Merlin’s hands. “She was sent here because her mother unfortunately passed.”

Merlin was staring at Gaius as if he was mad. A pit grew in Arthur’s stomach, were he and Merlin really not that close, did he really think that Arthur wouldn’t want to know about Merlin’s life? 

The little girl finally squirmed free, she ran up to Arthur, blinking at him wildly. There was a spark of something familiar there, something that Arthur was sure he had seen before. He figured it was just from knowing Merlin so well, that his daughter had mannerism that were inherited from her father.

“What’s your name?” The little girl asked.

“Arthur.” The prince responded, he looked at Merlin over the little girl’s head. He looked more pale than usual, Arthur hoped that it was because he just found out he had a child, not because Arthur was talking to that child. Arthur knelt down, sticking out his hand for the girl, “And yours?”

“Morgana.” The little girl responded. Arthur didn’t know why, but he recognized that name, it called to him from the far back of his mind. As if the name should mean something.

Arthur pushed the thought away when the small Morgana tentatively took Arthur’s hand, and Arthur kissed it, as if she were a proper lady. Morgana scrunched her face up and wiped the back of her hand on her smock. From behind them, Arthur could see Merlin laughing at the insult, but Arthur didn’t really care.

Arthur laughed lightly, this was a lively little girl. And Arthur’s heart clenched again at the thought of this sweet young child losing her mother. Arthur knew first hand what it was like to grow up without a mother, and he didn’t wish it on anyone. Especially not the daughter of some he held so dear (No! No Arthur did not hold Merlin dear, that is ridiculous, Merlin is just his  _ manservant _ . A lousy one at that, he had no positive feeling towards Merlin).

Arthur took a moment to look Morgana over. The girl held herself well, straight backed and with an even chin, but there was mischief and wonder that twinkled in her pale gray eyes. She was wearing one of Merlin’s tanned shirts, it didn’t fit right and was absolutely hideous. 

Arthur pitied the girl for having Merlin as a father, because honestly Merlin couldn’t even dress the child properly. How was Merlin expected to be a good dad when he can’t even manage to be at his job? But when Arthur thought about it, he knew that Merlin would give everything into parenting this little girl. Merlin had the largest heart of anyone he had ever met, and he would most definitely devote all of it to his daughter. And while Merlin was sometimes an idiot, well often times an idiot, he had enough common sense to survive through things trained knights couldn’t. Merlin will be a wonderful father, Arthur suddenly realised. And there was a sense of longing in his stomach at the thought, a sense that Arthur didn’t want to dwell on.

“Well Miss. Morgana,” Arthur said, “I think you need new clothes.”

Morgana looked down at her smock, and Merlin came over to her.

“Arthur, you don’t need to, she’ll -I’ll get by.” Merlin tried. And Arthur almost laughed, because if Merlin was going to raise his daughter, he would need all the help he could get, and Arthur wasn’t going to let a child go around wearing Merlin’s night shirts.

“But I want a pretty dress!” Morgana huffed looking at from Merlin to Arthur expectantly, “I want to look super duper pretty.”

“You are already super duper pretty.” Merlin replied immediately, and Arthur felt a hint of a smile.

“Come on Merlin,” Arthur laughed, “You can’t have your daughter running around Camelot in your nightshirt. It would look bad upon Camelot you know. We need her dressed like she belongs.”

Morgana took Merlin’s hand in her own, the pair were … they were something. Something that made Arthur’s heart swell. He liked seeing the two together, liked seeing them happy.

Merlin threw his head over his shoulder to throw Gaius a look. “Don’t worry, we will finish the conversation later.”

And with that Arthur was taking Morgana and Merlin to his room. He ordered a servant to bring up some children’s clothes for the lady Morgana, and while they waited, Merlin patiently played with his daughter. Arthur sat as his desk, looking over papers, but he wasn’t really focusing on that, instead she was looking at Merlin and Morgana.

Morgana very much liked to play make believe, once she started with the scenario they were to play, she didn’t stop talking for a couple minutes. It ended up that Morgana was playing that she was the queen, and Merlin had to do everything she said, which was mostly getting her ridiculous items. Arthur wanted to laugh at how close this make believe was to Merlin’s real job.

“Now I need a horse made out of rubies!” Morgana exclaimed.

Merlin sighed, but went behind the shade and came back immediately.

“Her you go my queen.” Merlin smiled, handing over the invisible reins to the horse. Morgana was giggling happily.

Then the servant poked her head in, she had a pile of child sized dresses in her hands, all neatly folded.

“I wasn’t sure what the little miss’ size was, so I grabbed a couple of options.” The woman explained, then smiling she looked at Morgana, “would you like to go over there and change?”

Merlin came to stand at Arthur’s side, watching as the servant and Morgana disappeared behind the screen. 

“Whose clothes are we borrowing?” Merlin asked, it was casual.

Arthur opened his mouth, a name on the tip of his tongue. He knew, he should know, whose clothes those were, but it was as if there was a wall in his head. It hurt to think about, making him dizzy and confused. 

“It doesn’t matter Merlin.” Arthur said a little harsher than he meant it, “They’re Morgana’s now.”

And then, as if hearing her name had summoned her, Morgana raced around the screen wearing a deep purple gown. She was smiling widely.

“Look! Look!” Morgana said, “I am pretty now.”

“Super duper pretty.” Merlin smiled. But Morgana wasn’t looking at Merlin, she was looking at Arthur.

“Yes, um, super duper pretty.” Arthur agreed, and Morgana smiled skipping off.

***

Taking care of Morgana the first day was rather easy. She didn’t cause too much trouble, just followed at Merlin’s heels excitedly. She talked on and on about her new clothes, the castle being big, and how one day she was going to be the queen. Arthur had taken it all in stride, and even allowed Merlin to leave early when Morgana’s head started to droop.

Merlin had carried Morgana back to Gaius’ chambers, dropping her into his bed. He then went out to Gaius.

“I don’t understand, nobody remembers her.” Merlin whispered, making sure not to awaken Morgana. “Why do I?”

“It could be because of your magic.” Gaius sermised.

“But, it’s not like anything has changed!” Merlin said exasperated, “I mean the knights were gathered to fight her, they are still here. And the clothes she is wearing now, they are Morgana’s old clothes!”

Gaius only shrugged for an answer. 

“At least tell me there is a way to undo this spell.” Merlin asked. Merlin still wasn’t sure if he wanted Morgana to return to an adult, as a child she was no threat to Camelot. But it felt wrong, Morgana wasn’t supposed to be like this, and Merlin felt like he was manipulating her.

“Not that I’ve found, but we will keep looking.” Gaius put a hand on Merlin’s shoulder, “Until then, you will need to take care of her.”

Merlin almost laughed, if Gaius remembered everything Morgana had done to them, he definitely wouldn’t want to take care of the young sorceress.

Merlin, dejected and tired went to his room, only to remember Morgana was sleeping on his big. He was half considering just moving the girl, adult Morgana was evil, and Merlin didn’t have to be nice to his enemies. But he saw her snuggled in his bed, the blankets round her chubby cheeks, and Merlin knew he didn’t have the heart to kick her to the floor. 

Sighing, Merlin laid his head on the stones, closing his eyes.

Sleep didn’t find him that night, too busy thinking about what he was going to do with Morgana. She couldn’t just follow at his heels all day, she was a child, she needed to go out and play. The thought of letting Morgana wander the castles on her own made Merlin’s stomach clench and his heart plummet.

No, tomorrow she would follow him again, and then he would figure something out.

Merlin was dressed and ready before the sun peaked over the horizon, left his room to make breakfast for Morgana, Gaius and himself. It was only porridge, but it was something to put food in his belly.

There was a loud crash from Merlin’s room, and Merlin raced to the door, his heart pounding.  _ What if someone was in there with her _ ?

Merlin swung the door open, to reveal Morgana in the doorway. She was breathing heavily, and her eyes wide. Merlin leaned down, looking the girl over for any injuries.

“I-I thought you left me.” Morgana explained without Merlin’s prompting.

“I won’t ever leave you.” Merlin promised, surprised how true his words were. 

“Because you are my dad?” 

Morgana was tilting her head, waiting for Merlin to respond. And Merlin almost wanted to lie, to say he was Morgana’s dad, but he knew he couldn’t do that. Not to the woman who used to be his friend, he couldn’t manipulate her like this, especially when she was a child. She had already been lied to enough by Uther.

“No Morgana, but I am going to take care of you. Okay?” And he pulled her in for a tight hug, holding her tiny body close to himself.

Morgana sniffed, but nodded. She clung to Merlin as tightly as Merlin had clung to her. 

“I made breakfast.” Merlin finally released the girl, pulling back and seeing her face red and splotchy. 

Morgana sat down across from Merlin, she looked at her porridge with a wary eye. The girl was clearly thinking about something quite hard, but Merlin would let her tell him in her own time. 

“Is it okay if I call you dad?” Finally asked halfway through the meal. Merlin almost choked on his porridge at the girl’s words.

“Yeah. Okay.” Merlin finally muttered, when the coughs stopped. Morgana smiled happily, and quickly shoveled all her food into her mouth, only spilling a little on her chin.

Merlin looked at the sun, noticing it just begin to peak over the horizon.

“Come on, we need to go wake up that royal pain in my butt.” Merlin said, swinging Morgana on top of his shoulders before heading down to the kitchens.

Morgana laughed the whole way to the kitchen, it was because Merlin had said ‘butt.’ 

Merlin got a plate of breakfast, and lead Morgana to Arthur’s room.

“Sit over here while I wake the sleeping beauty.” Merlin whispered, placing Morgana on a nice chair. Morgana wiggled, not liking to be put in one place, but didn’t say anything, so Merlin went the curtains, “Rise and shine.”

Sunlight filled the room, and when Merlin turned around to face Arthur, Morgana was sitting at the foot of his bed, jumping slightly on the soft mattress.

“Morgana!” Merlin shouted, feeling hot embarrassment color his cheeks. Arthur blearily opened his eyes, and the first thing he saw was Morgana staring owlishly at him.

Before Arthur had a chance to say anything, Merlin had pulled the little girl from his bed, and placed her on the stone floor. Arthur quickly reached for a tunic, it was improper for a child to see him bare chested after all, especially Merlin’s child.

“I told you to stay over here.” Merlin scolded lightly.

“But I wanted to talk to Arthur.” Morgana whined.

“I know you did, but not when Arthur is still asleep, he is cranky first thing in the morning.” Merlin said in an easy voice.

Morgana looked over Merlin’s shoulder to where Arthur was, now standing and out of his bed.

“Can I sit in his bed now? He’s out of it.” Morgana asked, Merlin opened his mouth to say something but Morgana cut him off, “It’s much more comfortable that your bed.”

“Sure, get in. It’s not like it’s my bed or anything.” Arthur said, Merlin could hear the sarcasm dripping from the words, but Morgana couldn’t. Her eyes widened in delight, and the girl raced for Arthur big soft bed, throwing herself onto the mattress. Arthur blinked at the girl, but didn’t say anything.

Thank the gods, Merlin thought, because he would not be able to deal with a tantrum from both the royal baby that was Prince Arthur and from Morgana. He just didn’t have enough energy for that.

“You have training this morning.”

The training fields were slightly damp, a cool mist clinging to the grass. Morgana was dancing around behind Merlin and Arthur, who didn’t say a word while they walked.

Merlin threw himself down onto the grass watching as the knights began to spar. Morgana was twirling around, but stopped when she saw the knights before her. She stood mesmerized by the glint of metal and the clashing of weapons.

“I want to do that.” Morgana exclaimed pointing to the training fields, her eyes following Arthur’s movements carefully.

“No.” Merlin said without thinking.

“You don’t think I can fight!” Morgana screeched, “Because I’m a girl.”

“No, I don’t think you can fight because the swords out there weigh as much as you do. But when you are older, I am sure you can beat all those knights.” Merlin promised, putting a hand on Morgana’s small head.

Morgana smiled at this, quite proud of herself. Merlin himself wasn’t lying, he knew that Morgana could beat Arthur easily in a spar.

“Looks like we have an admirer.” Gwaine laughed looking over at Merlin and the little Morgana. Morgana was still watching the sparring session with rapt attention, and Merlin blushed lightly.

“Merlin, why are you sitting about? Go fetch us some water.” Arthur rolled his eyes, swinging his dulled sword at the still distracted Gwaine.

Normally Merlin would go and do that with only a roll of the eyes, and a distracted insult under his breath, but his eyes went to Morgana. The little girl was watching the sword play intently. Merlin knew he couldn’t leave her here, she was a child right now, but there was no way she would willingly agree to follow Merlin to the water pump. 

“Percival, watch Merlin’s daughter while he goes.” Arthur said offhandedly.

“Daughter?” All of the knights shouted at once, it was comical.

Suddenly the knights stopped their training, except for an exasperated Arthur, and crowded around Merlin and Morgana.

“Merlin you dog!” Gwaine laughed, hitting Merlin’s shoulder.

Percival was kneeling before Morgana, he looked even larger next to her small form. Her smiled at her, and she tilted her head to the side.

“You’re big.” Morgana informed Percival. To which Percival smiled at.

“Why haven’t we meet her before?” Lancelot asked, pouting that Merlin hadn’t told him about the young girl. 

“What’s her name?” Elyan asked.

“My name is Morgana.” The little girl said crossing her arms over her chest. Haughty and superior, even as a child.

The knights all smiled at her, all except Leon who blinked at the name, tilting his head as if he recognized it. Merlin was almost ready to sing, at least someone remembered her. But as soon as the look in Leon’s face came, it went again, and Leon too smiled at the young girl, none the wiser of who she really was.

“If your all done, we do have to actually train. The enemies of Camelot won’t stop for Merlin’s daughter. Especially not-” Arthur stopped, as if there was a name on the tip of his tongue, “Cenred’s forces.” The prince finished lamely.

***

Arthur didn’t ever see himself as the nurturing type, he never really had been, nor had he any real role models growing up. Sure he trained knights, he raised warriors, but that was more molding, not nurturing. But here he was now, practically taking care of a young child.

Morgana had been in Merlin’s life - and by extension Arthur’s- for about a fortnight now, and she had become an essential part of his day. Every morning he would awaken to Merlin opening his curtains, and when he got out of his bed, Morgana crawled into it. He would go about his royal duties, Merlin would do his chores. After the first week of Morgana following Merlin where he went, Arthur insisted the child get a tutor, so Morgana was learning to read.

When Arthur was finished with his duties he would retire to his room. He and Morgana would play together while Merlin got dinner for the three of them. Morgana’s favorite game was playing princess, and she would create long and convoluted stories using the wooden toys Arthur had carved for her as props. Arthur didn’t even mind that the little girl would order him (the prince) around.

It was during one of his playing sessions that Morgana suddenly stopped playing, her toy dropping to the ground.

“Arthur, why did he hurt me?” 

Morgana sounded so grown up in that moment, as if she were Arthur’s age instead of four years old. She was staring wide eyed at Arthur, imploring an answer.

Arthur’s heart tightened, he didn’t know who hurt Morgana, but he would make them suffer.

“Arthur?” Morgana asked again, her voice wavering. But Arthur didn’t know what to say, what can someone say to a child who has been hurt?

And then Morgana was sobbing, big thick wet tears streaming down her face. Arthur reached out, unsure of what to do, unsure if he should hold her or leave her be. All he knew was that when Morgana cried, Arthur felt his hear shatter too.

“I want my mommy.” Morgana wept, and Arthur’s heart went out to the poor girl. He knew the pain of growing up without a mother, he knew how she probably yearned for a comforting embrace that only a mother could give. But Morgana was lucky, she had a father who showed his love and affection. 

As if Morgana heard his thoughts, Morgana shuddered and cried, “I want my daddy.”

Morgana threw her arms around Arthur’s shoulder’s, she sobbed on him. Arthur could feel the tears on his shoulder. Arthur held the girl, wishing he could do more.

Because Arthur is a warrior, he is a prince. He can fight anything, he could destroy those whoever dared to hurt this little girl whom he loved so dearly, but he couldn’t stop the girl’s tears. Suddenly Arthur felt weak, even though he was the strongest warrior in Camelot, he still couldn’t protect those who meant most to him.

Merlin chose that moment to enter Arthur’s chambers, he dropped Arthur’s food on the table, and then looked at his daughter.

“Morgana?” He called softly. Immediately Morgana detangled herself from Arthur and ran into Merlin’s arms.

“Arthur, can I…” Merlin trailed off.

“Take the rest of the night off.” Arthur waved, looking at Morgana’s shaking shoulders.

Merlin smiled and thanked Arthur before running off, his daughter in his arms. The two left an empty pit in Arthur’s stomach, he stared at the door that the two had disappeared from. He almost wanted to run after his family -

Arthur shook his head, when had Merlin and Morgana start feeling like family, when did they stop being people in his life and turned into his life? As Arthur thought about it, he realised, he wanted them as a family, he wanted to take care of them. He wanted to be their everything, just as they were his.

Arthur eat his dinner in silence, mulling over what he should do. Morgana had just lost one parents and gained a new one, what if she didn’t want Arthur in her life as another father figure? Arthur decided that he would sleep on in, observe the pair and see if they showed any inclination towards wanting him in the same way he wanted them.

The problem with that plan, was that now that Arthur was aware of his own feelings towards Merlin and Morgana, he was completely aware of his feeling towards Merlin and Morgana. When the two woke him up that morning, he felt a pang in his heart looking at how bone tired, Merlin looked. Later in the day, as he was walking from a council meeting to the front steps to greet a a lord, he caught sight of Morgana running through the halls being chased by a laughing Gwaine, and he felt tense hoping she wouldn’t fall on the stone floors. And honestly, why was Gwaine allowed to watch Morgana anyway? He is more of a child than she is. 

That night, when Morgana and him were playing with the carved toys waiting for Merlin, Arthur’s spirits soar at her easy smile.

Merlin brought the food, and the three sat down for dinner together, a tradition the three had started when Merlin had let it slip he was giving most of his food to his daughter, Morgana talked the entire way through dinner.

“Uncle Gwaine picked me up and I was so tall. I was probably taller that you daddy.” Morgana grinned happily, her mouth full of bread.

“Eat with your mouth shut.” Merlin spoke offhandedly, eating his own food.

“You call Gwaine Uncle? Why don’t you call me Uncle?” Arthur asked before he could stop himself, he didn’t even know why he said it. But Artur felt a flicker of jealousy, hot and tight in his throat, over not being Morgana’s favorite.

It was ridiculous, Arthur’s face was flushed red, and Merlin was smirking at him. Arthur wanted to snap at the man servant, but he couldn’t find it in himself to. And Morgana was picking easily at her bread. 

“Because you aren’t my uncle, you’re my Arthur.” Morgana answered easily, waving him off.

Arthur’s heart swelled with pride. When he looked at Morgana he saw his future. He saw a life where he taught the little Morgana how to be everything. Maybe he would teach her to fight with a sword, make her a knight, because it would bother Merlin if she followed in his footsteps.

“Yes,” Arthur said, raising his cup to hide his smile, “I suppose I am.”

***

Camelot was a lot more quiet now that Morgana was a child and not constantly mounting attacks. Lancelot commented on it one day while taking a break from training. Merlin and Morgana were together, picking flowers and making them into chains. The three were sitting by a lake away from Camelot, just enjoying nature away from the city.

“I keep waiting for an attack.” Lancelot mused, idly picking at some grass, “it’s strange, because I don’t remember there ever being one, but I just keep waiting for someone to attack the castle.”

Merlin glanced at Morgana who was trying to tie a dandelion stem with her untrained fingers. She had already made herself and Lancelot a flower crown and was working on Merlin’s.

“Yes,” Merlin sighed, in his weeks with the young Morgana he tried hard to get anyone to remember her, but it was always to no avail, “I know the feeling.”

“There are other things too.” Lancelot continued, “Gwen, why do we know her? I know she is Elyan’s brother, but we knew her before Elyan, why would we? What did she even do before she was head of the servants?”

Merlin shrugged, it wasn’t like he could tell Lancelot the truth. Lancelot scratched at his head, making one of the petals from his flower crown fall out.

“And all of us, we were gathered to do something. I just can’t remember what it was, it’s like there is this fog in my mind, and everytime I think I am starting to see something, it gets darker.” Lancelot lamented miserably.

Merlin honestly didn’t know which was worse, knowing the truth or knowing something was wrong. Either way it seemed to drive them mad.

“Oh my gods! Merlin!” Lancelot called, snapping Merlin from his thoughts. Lancelot was pointing to Morgana, who was glowing, just like she had been the day this all had begun. 

But this time Morgana was smiling warmly, her eyes childishly kind and caring. Her skin emitted a soft golden glow, and there was a feeling of warmth and safety. If Merlin weren’t so terrified, it would have been beautiful.

“I can protect you from the fog.” Morgana grinned at Lancelot, taking his hand gently, “I can be like a knight.”

Lancelot was smiling unsure, his eyes kept shifting to Merlin.

“Morgana?” Merlin asked slowly, and Morgana turned away from Lancelot to look at Merlin with a large smile, “how are you doing that?”

“I just really really wanted to help Uncle Lancelot.” Morgana shrugged, her skin still glowing, “I want to be a knight and protect everybody, just like Arthur.”

Merlin reached out touching Morgana’s arm, the light faded immediately, and Morgana frowned at the fact. But Merlin pulled her in for a tight hug, almost crushing her against his chest. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears. There was a fear that Merlin had never experienced before, a fear of losing Morgana, and it was overwhelming.

“Dad?” Morgana asked against Merlin’s shoulder.

“Morgana listen to me, and listen to me well. You are very powerful and that is a great gift, but you can’t do magic when we are in the city. You can only do magic in front of me, Gaius and Uncle Lancelot. Okay?” Merlin whispered hoarsely, still holding the little girl. Lancelot was watching the exchange carefully, but not speaking.

“Why?” Morgana whined.

Merlin pulled her back, meeting her stare with his own, “because some people are scared of power. I don’t want anyone to hurt you because you are scared.”

“I can protect myself.” Morgana insisted, her eyes starting to water, “Like a knight, I can be strong! No one can hurt me.”

Merlin looked at Morgana carefully, he didn’t want to repeat his previous mistakes. Last time, teaching Morgana to fear her own power was what lead to her destruction, he couldn’t do that again. She was powerful, and she was strong, and she deserved to know that about herself.

It was Lancelot that spoke, a comforting hand clapped on Morgana’s shoulder, “Even knights have to hide their swords sometimes. It is to protect everyone else, because if they see our swords they could get scared. It’s the same with your magic.”

Morgana looked at him, blinking unsure. 

Morgana really liked the knights, all of them. She wanted to be just like them when she grew up, and she usually trusted their words.

“Can I tell Arthur?” Morgana finally asked, her voice on the verge of breaking.

“No.” Merlin answered, softly, just as sadly.

“But Arthur would never be scared of me!” Morgana argued, she was screaming and hot angry tears flooded down her cheeks. Her face was splotchy and red, as she cried. It tore Merlin’s heart in two, he reached out to hold Morgana, but she batted his hands away. “He won’t! He won’t!”

Merlin and Lancelot watched Morgana sob until he fell asleep, exhausted from the outburst. Merlin ran his fingers through her raven hair lightly so she wouldn’t awaken. 

He knew that there was a chance Morgana would regain her powers, she was a priestess of the old religion, and that type of magic flows through your veins even as a child. But Merlin had expected the magic to manifest itself when she was older, just like it had the first time around. He had been hoping to have her turned back to an adult before he had to worry about this, but the longer they couldn’t find a solution for the spell, the more Merlin worried that this might be permanent. 

“What are you going to do Merlin?” Lancelot asked, also looking at the little Morgana. 

That was a good question, Merlin was living in a state of suspended animation, just waiting for his life to take one turn or another. He needed to start moving again, if Morgana was never going to be turned back to who she used to be he would have to start living like that. Or he would have to throw himself completely in finding a spell, he couldn’t live halfway any longer.

It was too bad though, because Merlin liked the way he was living, sure it was annoying that he no longer had a bed and instead slept on the floor, but his life was infinitely better with little Morgana. But Morgana gave his life more meaning than it had before, he wanted to unite Albion and return magic to the world, not just for himself, but also for Morgana. He was happier with her, the weight of depression that had held him down lifted slightly whenever Morgana would smile at him. It helped that Merlin had less work, Arthur, in an uncharacteristic show of support, telling him his primary job was to be a father.

“I have to get her out of Camelot.” Merlin finally sighed. 

He didn’t like the idea, leaving Camelot, leaving Arthur. But Morgana had become the most important thing to him, and he wouldn’t have her grow up in a place where she could be slaughtered for just being herself. He didn’t care about his destiny, Morgana came first.

Lancelot looked like he wanted to protest, but then he looked at Morgana who had shifted in her sleep, coming closer to Merlin seeking his warmth.

“When?”

Lancelot wasn’t looking at Merlin, he was looking at Morgana. Merlin knew that Lancelot loved this version of the evil sorceress, knew Lancelot would die to protect the child. 

“I don’t know. Soon.” Merlin whispered, running his hand through Morgana’s hair again, “don’t tell anyone, please.”

Lancelot smiled sadly, “of course not my friend.”

***

Arthur noticed that Merlin and Morgana were acting strange in very different ways. Morgana would look at him with wide eyes, as if she was longing to tell him something, but she never opened her mouth. Merlin on the other hand was prattling on more than usual, which was a feat, he was constantly talking about random and unimportant things. At their dinners he would eat quickly, Morgana following suit and then quickly retire to his chambers.

If Arthur wasn’t the prince he would probably be angry by this, but he was the prince and so he didn’t care about a  _ servant _ and his daughter being distant with him. That would be ridiculous!

He had a paralyzing fear that Merlin had discovered his feelings towards them, how he wanted to be with them so completely, and that was what was driving Merlin away. He banished the thought from his mind, only because Merlin is far too big a fool to figure out Arthur’s feelings, not because it hurt Arthur deep in his gut to think about Merlin rejecting him.

Still Arthur found himself going to the court physician’s tower after dinner one night, when he had no reason to call upon Merlin.

He wasn’t going to see Merlin -- _ He wasn’t Gwaine  _ \-- he was just going to make sure that everything was alright with Gaius. Princely rounds and all that.

Arthur stomped to the physician’s tower, in a foul mood because of Gwaine. He couldn’t see them, but as he approached he heard Merlin and Morgana whispering to each other. When Arthur opened the door he found both of them sitting stiffly and awkwardly, their hands folded into their laps. They wore matching expressions, one that said they had just been up to mischief. It was endearing, in a way that Arthur didn’t want to focus on.

When Morgana saw it was Arthur who entered the chambers she smiled and ran to him. 

“Arthur! Arthur!” Morgana laughed, raising her arms up so that Arthur would pick her up, which Arthur did without complaint. “Daddy was just telling about how you guys met a dragon!”

“Yes, we did.” Arthur laughed at Morgana’s enthusiasm, bopping her nose with a single finger. It was cute how Morgana was so enchanted by tales of knights. 

“It’s time for you to head off to bed.” Merlin finally said, looking pointedly at Morgana. Morgana nodded, and gave Arthur a sloppy kiss on the cheek, before climbing out of his arms. The girl ran to her father, giving him a matching kiss, then she ran off to Merlin’s chambers.

Arthur stood for a moment unsure what to do, Morgana had never given him a kiss before. His chest felt lighter at the thought of it.

“Did you need something Arthur?” Merlin asked, softly, his focus on the door to the bedroom. Arthur followed his gaze, his brow furrowed when he noticed there was only one bed. In one corner he saw a mess of blankets and a pillow on the floor. 

“Arthur?” Merlin asked again.

“Yes.” Arthur snapped back to himself, “Yes, um I came to tell you, I have a room.”

Merlin looked at Arthur as if he were an idiot, “Yes I know. I clean it every day.”

“No I mean, I have a room that is attached, if you want it. You and Morgana need more space, so one of you isn’t sleeping on the floor.” Arthur corrected.

Merlin opened his mouth, than closed it, gaping like a fish. And God, Arthur must really have it bad, because seeing him like that was so endearing and cute.

“Merlin, have you forgotten how to speak?” Arthur teased.

“We can’t.” Merlin almost whispered, his voice too broken for Arthur’s liking.

“Of course you can.” Arthur waved off, “I will arrange it. You’ll move in tomorrow.”

“No Arthur, you don’t understand. We are leaving.”

Arthur’s world might have stopped spinning in the moment. There was a weight that dropped in his stomach, his entire body shook. Merlin and Morgana were leaving him - the thought was unbearable, it was a nightmare.

“Leaving?” Arthur asked dumbly.

“Leaving Camelot.” Merlin nodded.

“You can’t!” Arthur tried, his voice a little too loud, he could see Morgana sit up in her bed, watching the pair with large eyes that reflected in the darkness.

“I didn’t want to tell you until I had enough money to get us away, but Camelot isn’t a good place for Morgana.” Merlin said.

Arthur balked at the idea. Camelot was the best place on Earth for Morgana. In Camelot she had regular access to food, she had the protection of the knights, she had Merlin, and she had Arthur. What more could she need? She was loved here.

“No, no I order you both to stay.” Arthur gritted out.

“You can’t.” Merlin spoke slowly and softly, as if Arthur were a child.

“I’m the prince and I can do as I please. You are both staying and that is final.” Arthur repeated stubbornly. He wasn’t going to lose Merlin and Morgana, they were his family. 

Arthur didn’t want to think too long about the fact that he saw Merlin and Morgana as family. He also didn’t want to think about how they wanted to leave him, just like everyone else in his life. His mother had left, his sister -- Arthur shook his head, he never had a sister. It didn’t matter, he wasn’t allowing Merlin and Morgana to leave.

He tried to show all of those feelings, the worry, pain, and devotion in his eyes. He couldn’t say them aloud, it wasn’t proper and it wasn’t in his nature, but Arthur hoped Merlin could see that.

Merlin sighed, “We can stay a little longer, it might be good to have more money tucked away.”

Arthur could work with that. It would start with a delay, but eventually Arthur would convince Merlin to stay forever, at his side, right where he belonged.

***

True to Arthur’s word, Merlin and Morgana were moved into a chamber attached to the king’s private quarters. This room had two beds, and a shelf lined with dolls and toys, which Morgana immediately ran to. Merlin was left at a loss, this bedroom was the size of Gaius’ entire chambers, far grander than Merlin could have ever expected.

He couldn’t keep Morgana in Camelot, but he couldn’t leave with Arthur breathing down his neck so. Especially not after Arthur had given his such a lavish room.

To make matters worse Morgana was beginning to remember bits and pieces from her past, some nights she would awaken crying and screaming that she didn’t want to be burned at the pyre. Other nights she would turn to Merlin with darkness in her eyes and whisper how she would destroy Camelot, sending chills down Merlin’s spine. Then the moment would pass and  _ his _ Morgana would be back.

He noticed that it happened to others too, sometimes they would be on the edge, almost remembering Morgana, before they were pulled back again. Like a man perched upon a high cliff readying to jump, but never able to get his feet off the ground. It happened most with those closest to Morgana and her memory, Arthur, Gwen and even Uther. Only Merlin seemed to be the wiser.

The only good news that had come within the week was that Gaius might have found a potion to reverse the spell Morgana had cast. But even that held a bittersweet note, because Merlin found he quiet loved Morgana as a child - as his child.

He loved when the two played knights with large sticks near the lake, he loved telling her stories and watching her eyes sparkle as he conjured glowing images to go with them. He really loved how she would kiss his cheek each night before bed, and sleepily mumble, “Love you Daddy.”

It was a quiet night in their new chambers, Morgana was already asleep, and Merlin was on the edge of dreaming, when Morgana awoke screaming out in terror. No matter how often the nightmares came, Merlin still felt his heart break when Morgana screamed. He still worried that one of these times it really would be someone to take her away.

But Morgana was just sitting in her bed, and Merlin reached for her, folding her up in his arms.

The door to their room banged open, Arthur stood in his night clothes, sword in hand, looking around their room wildly. When he saw the pair sitting on Morgana’s bed, he lowered his sword, only a bit.

Morgana was shaking in Merlin’s arms, tears streaming down her face.

“He wants me dead!” Morgana screamed, hiding her face into Merlin’s shoulder.

And Merlin wished he didn’t know who she was talking about, but he did. Morgana was dreaming of Uther, the man who raised her, the man who was secretly her father, discovering she had magic. She saw her death at his hands, it was a nightmare that she had even when she and Merlin were still friends. And as a child they plagued her more.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.” Merlin promised kissing her hair, and running a hand over her shoulders. Arthur still stood in the doorway, watching the exchange with wide eyes.

“He will kill you too!” Morgana wailed.

“Who Morgana?” Arthur asked, stepping towards the bed as if he couldn’t help himself. And Merlin tried to convince himself it was a natural instinct to pull Morgana closer to him, out of Arthur’s reach.

Morgana was sobbing, hot tears falling onto Merlin’s shoulders.

“I don’t want to die!” Morgana wailed, her voice muffled in Merlin’s shoulders.

Arthur sat at the corner of Morgana’s bed, not speaking nor reaching out, just sitting in silence with Merlin. 

It took an hour for Morgana to finally fall back asleep. Arthur stayed the entire time, silently watching.

The pair left Morgana to sleep in her bed, walking to Arthur’s chambers, the two had kept the door open, so they could run to Morgana if she awoke again. And also because Merlin found that it calmed his stuttering heart to be able to see her.

“What was that?” Arthur whispered, his eyes trained on Morgana’s sleeping form.

“A nightmare, bad one.” Merlin said tiredly.

“She said someone hurt her.” Arthur said, now the entirety of his princely gaze focused on Merlin, “Is that why you wanted to leave Camelot?”

“It’s not safe for her here.” Merlin said, because it wasn’t a lie.

“I can protect her. I can protect both of you, you don’t have to leave.” Arthur insisted, his voice taking what Merlin thought was a pleading edge. But that would have been ridiculous, because Arthur would never plead. Not for this.

“We do need to leave.” Merlin said, his voice broken in his own ears. Arthur took a step back, as if he wasn’t expecting the answer.

The two stood together in Arthur’s chambers until the light of dawn began to peak over the horizon. They just stood, looking at each other, with wide unfathomable eyes.

***

Merlin and Morgana were set to leave in one fortnight, and Arthur was stubbornly taking up as much time with them as he could. He took Morgana riding, and was delighted by the fact that she seemed to love horses, and set up a picnic, just the three of them. It was that day that Arthur learned why Merlin and Morgana were really running.

Because it was them, they were approached by bandits.

“Well looky what we ‘ave ‘ere.” One bandit said, baring his yellowing teeth, “a nice little family eh?”

The bandit came closer, his sword trained on Arthur. Merlin pushed Morgana behind his back, shielding her while Arthur waited for an opening.

There were only two bandits, and so it shouldn’t be too difficult to defeat them, but Arthur had never before had to worry about protecting Morgana. He wouldn’t make a move if it endangered the little girl.

“I say we kill the big one, and take the other two for ourselves, yeah?” The other bandit smirked.

“No!” Morgana cried, escaping from behind Merlin. Arthur barley had time to react when Morgana sent a wave of magic at the two bandits, knocking them both back into trees.

Magic!

Morgana had magic.

Arthur stood straight, looking at the two men who had fallen, not really seeing. He didn’t notice Merlin fall to his knees, scoop Morgana up. 

But Arthur did hear his pleads, “Please Arthur, don’t hurt her. She is a little girl, she doesn’t know how to control her magic.”

And Arthur blinked, because did Merlin really think that he could ever hurt Morgana?

Morgana was shaking in her father’s arms, crying “I’m sorry, I’m sorry.”

They were afraid of  _ him _ . Arthur realized dumbly.

Arthur didn’t know what to do, he just acted, his body moving forward, even when the pair flinched away from him, he too dropped to his knees. Arthur wrapped his arms around the pair, burying his face between them, holding them as close as he could.

Arthur hoped they understood what he meant, because there was no way he could describe it.

There was no way that Arthur would be able to explain how even though he hated magic and it terrified him to his very core, he would make so Morgana could live a life without fear or hate. And he couldn’t explain how his heart shriveled when Merlin and Morgana had been afraid of him. Just as he couldn’t explain the complete and utter joy he felt when they returned his embrace. It was all too much, and Arthur didn’t know how to voice any of these feelings.

“Nothing will ever hurt you.” Arthur promised them, promised them both.

He pulled away from Merlin, looking his best friend, the man he loved in the eyes, and searched for understanding.

“Ever.” Arthur promised, then he leaned in, brushing his lips lightly across Merlin’s. 

The kiss was nothing and it was everything. Kissing Merlin was like breathing, it was natural but vital at the same time.

“Ew!” Morgana screeched, still sandwiched between them, forcing the pair to break apart, “You guys can’t kiss in front of me!”

Merlin laughed slightly, it was more of a relieved sigh, but the lines the crinkled around his eyes when he smiled were there, so Arthur counted it. 

They road back to Camelot, Morgana and Merlin riding a bit ahead, leaving Arthur to think about his future, and his families future. He knew as soon as he was king, magic would become legal, and Morgana would be free to live as herself. Until then, Arthur would just have to make sure his father never found out.


End file.
